I have to go there. I don't want to but I have to even if when I go…: lj_live

I have to go there. I don't want to but I have to even if when I go there I know that I am neglecting my family. I am not giving them the 100 fucking percent they deserve and it pisses me off. I have three other freaking siblings and only one does anything for them as well...but he can't go there and DO what I do. And the other two don't give a crap enough to even do anything for them. Yes, I know...they were nicer to me when I was little. She was evil to you...I get it, I get it...so fucking what? You were no picnic to yours either. Yes, bitchy but I am gettign to the point where I can no longer function and you couldn't give two rats ass about it. No matter that I have three kids, work, their school and all the other mom stuff I do...schedule full....life overload. While you run from meeting to meeting taking care of other people's problems and never giving too much of a sideways glance to your family that needs you. How this do you spread the butter before the bread rips?
How do you section off the pieces of pie so that everyone gets a piece of me? So that whomever might need me, gets me? Who do you leave out when there isn't any pieces left? You leave out me. I am standing on the outside looking in and I am tired of it. I am tired of feeling like less of a Mother because I devote so much time to there. I am tired of feeling like less of a wife because I can't do the things I need to do to be a productive wife and mother. I am tired of not being who I am truly destined to be because there is no time in my life to be that person. I am more angry because I don;t even know who I am supposed to be. I am tired. Exhausted. Physically and mentally drained and fuck me it pisses me off! Profanity laden? So what. It;s how I feel.

Kiss my ass, spellcheck. I don't even give a crap.

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